


Until it Was Enough

by disarm_d



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Consensual Infidelity, M/M, geno's irl baby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-10
Updated: 2017-01-10
Packaged: 2018-09-16 16:53:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9280796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/disarm_d/pseuds/disarm_d
Summary: This was why Geno had a son and Sidney had different four houses he didn’t like enough to live in.Sidney considers what it means to settle.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Still in all ways, and at all times, grateful for [threeturn](http://archiveofourown.org/users/threeturn), who a) continues to be the best beta you could ask for while b) still not being in this fandom showing c) the truest lengths of friendship.

Sidney watched Geno with his baby. It was a cute baby. Sidney saw various cute children throughout most of his days. The kids at his skating camp, the ones in the audience who asked for his autograph as he walked into the tunnel. Babies decked out in Penguin jerseys. He liked kids; he saw a lot of them and it was fine. Usually he could keep it at a distance. 

But Geno was holding Nikita -- or not even holding him, _cuddling_ him in his arms, teasing him in Russian about something that Sidney couldn’t understand, and the whole thing made Sidney ache like skating a double shift with Byfuglien on the ice. Nikita was going to be able to walk soon. Sidney had already seen so many teammates’ babies grow up that he almost wasn’t surprised by the magic of blobs growing into people, but for some reason the idea of Geno having a son, a son who was about to walk and talk, was hitting him right in the soft place between his ribs. 

Sidney shouldn’t have come tonight. Anna was in Vegas for the weekend for a bachelorette party, and they didn’t have a game, so the baby stayed home with Geno. Sidney had worked out, and then he’d popped over for a visit and somehow hadn’t left. Nikita had been crawling around before, but held him now, rubbing up and down his back, resting his palm over his son’s little head, holding his hands, his feet, his thrashing elbows. 

“Too strong,” Geno said when Nikita flailed, trying to squirm down to the ground, and almost smacked him in the nose. “Should not try for fighting first, always.”

Sidney snorted. He looked at Geno and cleared his throat pointedly. 

“Hey, I’m not get in any fights,” Geno said. His voice went higher when he turned his attention to the baby. “No, no, no, no more fights.”

“Do you think he’s going to be good at hockey?” Sidney asked.

“Best at hockey for sure,” Geno said. “Soon, walk, then skate. First overall pick.”

Nikita had been an accident. Geno had never said, and it wasn’t something Sidney could ask, but Sidney thought it seemed obvious. That had always been Sidney’s nightmare, but as he watched Geno with his son, he couldn’t remember where all the fear had come from. Even if some of the circumstances hadn’t been ideal, Geno had known he wanted to have kids; now he had a son. Sidney had always been so neurotically vigilant because, what, it might cost a lot? It might have been something people could use against him? He might get stuck dealing with a woman he didn’t love for his entire life? Oh, right. It was easy to open the door to the fear after all. 

This was why Geno had a son and Sidney had different four houses he didn’t like enough to live in. 

After coming back from the summer, he’d realized he couldn’t stand the kitchen of the house he usually lived in here, and now he was living in a hotel while it got renovated. His place in Cole Harbour was pretty good, but he only lived there a couple of months of the year. His place in Pittsburgh was supposed to be his _home_ home, and even though he’d got it custom built in the first place, he couldn’t stand the way there were four cupboards on one side of the fridge and five on the other. He’d thought the black tile would look good, but it always showed dirt. The pot lights were staggered completely asymmetrically. Apparently it was going to take most of the season to gut the kitchen and build it again.

Geno started making loud buzzing sounds that for some reason had his son in hysterics. There was nothing like the sound of a laughing baby; Sidney couldn’t keep from smiling. He wanted to hold Nikita, but he didn’t know how to ask. He wanted to rub his lips over Nikita’s pink cheeks, and maybe that was a weird thing to think, but they just looked so, so soft. Babies’ skin was insane. Sidney wasn’t _old_ but he could start to see where the lines were going to set into his face. In certain lighting it looked like he had wrinkles. In most lighting it was obvious that his face kept getting broken and put back together. Nikita’s skin was so wholly unblemished. 

Geno buzzed again and then started laughing himself. Both he and Nikita were losing it. There was nowhere that Sidney could be that would feel close enough, so he thought he should probably just leave all together. 

“Nice to see you,” he said, standing.

“Not time to go, only getting started,” Geno said, shaking his head. “He goes to bed now. Won’t be so boring for you.”

“I’m not bored,” Sidney said. He sat back down. When Geno went off to put Nikita in his pyjamas, Sidney stayed seated. He’d always known he was going to have kids, so he’d never worried. It was only recently that he had realized -- in the real, visceral way that his brain had since clung to -- there were steps that needed to be taken in between knowing he would have kids and actually having kids. It was the first time he had realized the possibility that he might not actually end up having any kids at all. 

Geno took a long time, but eventually he came back down.

“Sorry,” he said. “He’s so squirmy, not want bottle. You want drink now, maybe?”

“It’s okay,” Sidney said. 

“Just a little bit,” Geno said, leading Sidney over to the bar cart that was set up in the dining room. He poured them each a finger -- a large finger, more like a thumb -- of vodka, and clinked his glass against Sidney’s.

“Can’t keep this too much longer,” he said, nodding at the bar cart. “Too much break, everywhere. Someone’s come to fix the house next week. Make safe for running baby.”

“Are you excited that he’ll be able to walk soon?”

“Make much more trouble,” Geno said, “but yes, good, not have to hold all the time.”

Sidney didn’t care much for vodka, but the stuff Geno had was good. Even without ice, it tasted, like, light. No oppressive burn. Sidney drained his entire glass without noticing. Geno poured him more, two fingers this time. Maybe two thumbs. Geno finished his, but only gave himself a little trickle more because he was a dad. Sidney hadn’t forgotten but somehow he kept being reminded anew of it. 

Geno was the kind of friend who would happily get Sidney drunk on his undoubtedly expensive alcohol, call him a cab, and send him on his way with a bottle of water for the ride. Sidney could get drunk and stupid, and Geno wouldn’t care. He’d laugh at some of Sidney’s jokes and chirp him for the others, and no matter how embarrassing Sidney got, it would still be okay. 

Still, when Geno offered to top him up again, Sidney said no. He had a little buzz going, but he was still fine to drive, and he wanted to stay that way. It seemed like the kind of night where he should be able to make a quick escape. 

They went to sit on Geno’s couch -- the comfortable, plush one in the family room, not the leather one in the living room. 

“You want TV?” Geno asked. 

Sidney shrugged. 

Geno said, “Sit comfortable, relax.” He flattened his hand high on Sidney’s chest and pushed him back until Sidney gave up his perch on the very edge of the couch, leaned back. Geno was so relaxed in his house, approachable in a way that he usually wasn’t at the rink. Sidney crossed his legs at the ankles and then put both feet flat on the floor.

“So bad at sit still,” Geno said. “Like a nine month.”

Sidney laughed. “Yeah, I’m just like your son.”

Geno cupped Sidney’s cheek in his hand. “Maybe little different,” he said before pulling his hand away. 

Sidney blinked. Oh, so this was one of the nights when Sidney like being touched. He rarely did. His cheek felt prickly, like it was still seeking out the feel of Geno’s hand. He’d known Geno for such a long time. It was funny that there were still new things to learn about him. He’d changed, or maybe Sidney had, because this wasn’t the way Sidney saw him eight years ago. 

Sidney dropped his head, beat his thumb against his knee. Asked, “So what am I going to do about turning thirty?” 

“Is nothing. Throw a big party, maybe. Lots of fun. Everyone comes.”

Sidney thought, _Imagine if we had the cup again in the summer_ , but then he immediately admonished himself. That was asking for a jinx. There was a fine line between wanting the cup with every fibre of his being (which was helpful), and thinking -- or, fuck, _saying_ , that was much worse -- anything that could hurt their chances. There was obviously a world of difference between wanting to win the cup again and wanting to have the cup with him on his thirtieth birthday. 

“Long time, still. Can plan lots.”

“You want to plan my party for me?” Sidney asked.

“Maybe,” Geno said. 

He smiled and looked down, banged his own fingers over Sidney’s knee in a quick rhythm and then covered Sidney’s hand with his own. 

Sidney bit the inside of his cheek. He wiggled his toes, but didn’t move anywhere else. Geno slid his foot over, too, set it down on top of Sidney’s toes. Sidney laughed and didn’t try to kick him away. 

Geno let go of his hand after that, but stayed close. He slid his palm up Sidney’s arm to wrap it around Sidney’s shoulders. He was smooth when he wanted to be. Sidney had seen him touch people like this before. He’d never minded watching Geno with other people. Geno had fun, and it was good to watch him enjoying himself, but his kind of fun wasn’t the same as Sidney’s. Except tonight, when everything was slotting into place in a way that Sidney hadn’t imagined before. He didn’t want Geno drunk at a club. He wanted him here, at home.

“I think maybe you don’t want to watch TV,” Geno said, cupping his hand over the back of Sidney’s neck. 

Sidney knew how to shut this down. He knew what to do when people were touching him and he didn’t want to be touched, how to twist away, close himself off, make it so that touching him was so awkward that the other person just gave up. But tonight, he felt like being touched. 

He turned towards Geno, slowly, so he didn’t dislodge his hand. He didn’t know how to put the right expression on his face, but he knew how to open up his body. He hardly had to move at all, but suddenly it seemed like they were sitting much closer.

“Ah,” Geno said, his face breaking into a brilliant smile. He shifted his hand around to the side of Sidney’s neck, used his thumb to brush against the hinge of Sidney’s jaw. They were lined up properly. It made the first kiss easy. 

Sidney had been hit in the face a lot lately, but his swollen lip had mostly gone down. The scab that remained was high enough that it wasn’t any problem for kissing. There was just a little ache when the kissing turned harder, hotter, Geno’s tongue sliding over Sidney’s. 

Sidney touched his own thigh to orient himself, then moved his hand over to Geno’s, rubbing up his inseam and then back down again. He could hear every change in Geno’s breathing. When Geno sucked on his tongue, he heard himself make a noise.

They moved together, hands on each other’s bodies but mouths parting in the moments it took to stretch out on the couch. They were side by side, almost, but there wasn’t quite enough room. Geno had one knee on the couch, the other between Sidney’s legs. Sidney was on his side, propped up on his elbow. They were each in a good position to climb on top of the other, but neither made the move to do so. Sidney searched blindly for the hem of Geno’s shirt and pulled at it until he could touch bare skin. 

They kissed until Sidney’s mouth felt dry and he pulled back, licking his lips.

“Should you be doing this?” Sidney asked. A part of him didn’t care either way. He just wanted to know what he was getting into. 

“Because of the baby? He sleeps.”

“Because of Anna,” Sidney said. 

“Yeah, it’s okay. We talk about it.”

“You talked to her about me?”

“Not you, because man. Russian, you see. Maybe she not like so much.” Geno quirked up the corner of his mouth, rubbed his hand between Sidney’s shoulder blades, like he thought Sidney might need to be comforted after that. “About other girls though, yes, no problem.”

“But you sleep with guys too?”

“Maybe sometimes,” Geno said. “You like?”

“Sometimes,” Sidney said. 

“Now?” Geno asked. 

Sidney laughed. He rocked his hard dick against Geno’s thigh. “Obviously.” 

“You want to go upstairs then?”

“If it won’t wake Nikita.”

There was a time when having sex with another guy -- with a _teammate_ , because, yes, Sidney had before, even though he’d always known how stupid it was -- needed to happen fast, fast, fast. This walk through Geno’s massive house would have cooled things down enough that someone would have had second thoughts. Even with how easy things had been tonight, Sidney almost expected something to halt them before they made it to Geno’s bed, but somehow nothing did. Geno kissed him and then they each got themselves naked. 

Geno’s body was so approachable. He was strong but still a little soft around the middle, like he was meant to be touched, held on to. Sidney rubbed his hands down Geno’s back, grabbed his ass. It was so good to touch his whole body, every single part of Geno right there for Sidney to feel. Standing a few feet away from the bed, Sidney rocked up against Geno, rubbing their bare skin together, and didn’t realize that he was being too desperate until he nearly knocked both of them over. He made himself take a breath, took a step back. Let Geno climb up on the bed before following at a distance after him. 

It was nice to be in a real bed now that he was in hotels when he was back at home as well as when he was on the road. His sheets were always clean, which was convenient, but they smelled like chemicals. Geno’s bed smelled like people had slept there before, in a nice way. Sidney liked the feel of Geno’s sheets, although he suspected that in the light of day they were a very ugly colour. He liked the feel of Geno’s skin, too. The length of his thighs, the stretch of his back. Sidney was careful when he touched him this time, didn’t let his hands get carried away. 

Geno kissed a little too softly, but that was probably just because he was used to kissing his wife. It was better for Sidney’s lip, anyway. One of the stitches still hadn’t fallen out. 

It occurred to Sidney, as he rubbed his cock against Geno’s, that maybe he should be self-conscious about his fucked-up lip. He was so used to everyone in the world seeing every minute detail of his injuries -- and then again, in slow motion replay on the jumbotrons. Maybe it was gross to kiss someone whose lip was still scabbed. Geno had already seen him sweating and bleeding and puking and crying. So had most of the guys from the team, if they had been around long enough, or different guys who were now on different teams. There was such a large number of people who had a casual intimacy-by-proxy with Sidney’s body that it never occurred to Sidney that Geno specifically also had it. But now his tongue was in Sidney’s mouth. That was a different level. That wasn’t so casual anymore.

“Is my lip gross?” Sidney asked. 

“Kind of,” Geno said, after he had pulled back to give it an evaluative look. Then he leaned in for another kiss. Sidney liked that Geno hadn’t asked him if it hurt. He sucked on Geno’s tongue. He pushed at Geno’s shoulder until Geno lay down on his back, and Sidney crawled down the bed to suck on Geno’s cock instead. 

While he blew Geno, he cupped his balls, let his thumb drift further down between his legs to rub at his perineum. Sidney bobbed up and down a couple more times before pulling off. He always hoped it was the thought that counted with oral sex, even though that wasn’t something he thought about anything else, not ever in his entire life. He just found it kind of…overstimulating, in a bad way, to have to use his mouth that much. He didn’t want everything to be happening right in his face. 

He pushed his thumb further yet, nudging up dry and careful against Geno’s hole. He glanced up, checking for Geno’s reaction. Geno’s head was thrown back, so Sidney couldn’t tell. His cock was still hard. He had let his thighs fall further open. Sidney pushed at Geno’s hole again, a firm pressure.

He asked, “Do you think I could fuck you?”

“Yeah, good,” Geno said. His body did a weird twisty thing and then Sidney almost got hit in the head with the bottle of lube that he hadn’t realized Geno was getting. 

“Careful,” Sidney said after he’d caught the bottle. He’d had to use his left hand, because his right was still buried between Geno’s legs. 

“Important, pay attention,” Geno said, straight-faced and trolling. 

“Oh, I’m paying attention,” Sidney said and then pushed in right away with two wet fingers. 

“Be nice,” Geno said, slapping at Sidney’s shoulder, but when Sidney curled his fingers to rub over Geno’s prostate, he clutched at Sidney’s shoulder instead. 

“I can just use one,” Sidney teased. 

“Shut up,” Geno said, tightening his grip on Sidney. 

“Not saying anything,” Sidney said and then he eased another finger inside. 

Sidney liked the look of fingering guys more than girls. It was easier to see. Geno’s hole stretched open around Sidney’s fingers. Sidney liked other things better about sleeping with girls (how _wet_ they got, their breasts, their skin), but he liked this visual. Even the flat stretch of Geno’s taint, the funny crease of skin between his balls. His cock had gotten kind of forgotten, so Sidney picked it up with his free hand, gave it a couple long strokes. Geno’s thighs clenched and released. He let go of Sidney’s shoulder and used his hand to rub at his own nipple instead. 

There was this period of time after he was in the show when everyone realized that sex was easy to get, and then instead it was supposed to be about trying to get whatever weird brand of sex turned your crank, but Sidney always just really liked fucking. He liked using his body. Sometimes he could wear himself out with a good workout and he didn’t really even need to have sex. Certainly he was worn to the bone after a run at the cup, an exhaustion that built in increments over the season. But if he was going to have sex, there was nothing like that full body satisfaction when someone let him fuck them. 

He put on a condom and held the base of his cock steady while he slowly worked it into Geno. He waited for a long time once he was finally all the way inside, giving Geno the chance to adjust but also just -- feeling it. The closeness. Like for the first time that night, he was actually as close as he wanted to be. And then Geno kicked the leg he had resting over Sidney’s shoulder and said, “Move, now. You know how to do, right?”

Sidney was going to say something snarky back, but it was easier to just start fucking Geno. He used his hand to steady Geno’s thigh. This position was good because it made the angle right for fucking, but it was also a little difficult to keep them lined up because Geno’s long legs kept wanting to fall away. Sidney wrapped his arm around Geno’s thigh, holding it between their chests, Geno’s knee up by Sidney’s ear and his calf thumping against Sidney’s back. Geno had bent his other leg and pressed it up against Sidney’s side. It felt like they had created a shelter with their bodies, like they were locked together into a whole new form. 

Sidney fucked Geno kind of shallow, because that usually seemed to be what guys liked the best. Geno seemed to like it, making low happy noises while Sidney worked them together. It felt so good to have Geno’s body underneath him, to be twisted up like this, Geno’s tight ass and his spread thighs, and the way his lips looked when he threw his head back and panted. It had to be a stretch to keep his leg over Sidney’s shoulder like this, but he didn’t seem to mind. Sidney kind of wanted to push Geno’s leg even further back, see how wide he would spread, but they’d got the angle right and Sidney didn’t want to fuck with it.

With one of his arms around Geno’s thigh and the other holding himself up on the bed, Sidney didn’t have a free hand to grab Geno’s cock. He said, “Touch yourself. Can you come like this?”

“Work, work, work,” Geno grumbled. He kicked at Sidney with his free leg as he tried to get his hand between them. “Heavy. Can’t reach.”

“There’s tons of room,” Sidney said. He uncurled his hand from around Geno’s thigh and flapped his hand, hitting Geno in the belly.

“Don’t need jerk off my stomach,” Geno said. “Move back.”

“Fine, stop kicking me,” Sidney said, lifting his hand off the bed to sit back on his heels. He moved Geno’s leg off his shoulder, but the angle wasn’t good with both of Geno’s legs on the bed. He hooked each of his hands under Geno’s knees and pushed them towards his chest. 

“Not too far, okay, yes, okay, that’s fine,” Geno said. 

“You’re so--” Sidney trailed off as he tried to find the rhythm to start fucking Geno again.

“Hot?” Geno said. “Yes, thank you, I know this. Good you can see.”

He wasn’t _not_ hot, so Sidney didn’t answer. Taking the little break had made his cock very happy to start fucking Geno again. Sidney felt like he could come or keep going for longer, so he kept up a steady rhythm to see what Geno would do. 

At first it seemed like Geno wasn’t even jerking off, just pressing his cock down against his stomach and rubbing a little. Geno was obviously allowed to touch his own cock the way he wanted, but Sidney bit back the urge to tell him he was doing it wrong. Sidney kept fucking him the same way, like medium hard, not too deep, the sort of fucking that he could keep up for a long time, and gradually Geno started touching himself more and more until finally he lifted his hand to lick his palm wet and grabbed his cock for real. 

Things built up fast after that, Sidney following the increasing speed of Geno’s hand, building up and up until their bodies were slapping together loudly. Sidney looked down at Geno’s hand, jerking furiously, up to his face, his open mouth and flushed cheeks. They were both making sounds, these low wordless grunts, and then Geno groaned properly which started Sidney into coming, even though he had intended to hold off so they could both go at the same time. Except, yes, fuck, Geno was coming too. Sidney loved when things went according to plan. 

Sidney kept grinding forward until he was sure Geno was done coming and the pressure around his spent cock was starting to feel crushing. Sidney took inventory of his body slowly. He was sweating. He eased down Geno’s legs, pulled out his cock, leaned forward to give Geno a smacking kiss and then got out of bed. He wandered into the ensuite to throw the condom in the toilet, paused to wash his hands and splash water over his face, then grabbed one of the hand towels and brought it back to Geno. 

He tipped forward into the bed, face first, and listened as Geno rubbed the towel over his belly, wiping away the come. It felt good to be lying down, but Sidney didn’t think he was in any danger of falling asleep. He should drink a glass of water before he left. His mouth felt dry. 

He twisted his head to the side and looked at Geno. Geno was curled up on his side, already facing toward Sidney. He smiled when Sidney looked at him, so Sidney smiled back. It seemed like maybe he wanted to kiss or -- Sidney wanted to kiss. He wanted to roll on top of Geno again. He remembered the way Geno had kissed him before. It had felt too soft but maybe it was actually kind of nice. It would feel good now, probably. Geno’s naked body still looked like it was meant to be touched. 

But before Sidney rolled over, Nikita started crying. Sidney hadn’t noticed the baby monitor sitting on the nightstand, but there it was. Geno got up. He grabbed one of the blankets that had fallen to the floor and wrapped it around his waist. There was a pause, and then Sidney could hear him through the baby monitor, murmuring in Russian. Sidney climbed out of bed, paused only long enough to bend in half, touched his toes to stretch out his legs, and then got dressed quickly. It felt like he shouldn’t be naked any more. 

Geno came back with the baby, who was fussing but not crying any longer. 

He said, “Here, for a minute,” and passed Nikita over to Sidney. 

Nikita didn’t like that, but Sidney said brightly, “Hey, hey,” and made faces for the half a minute it took for Geno to put on his pants. There was always something so awkward about being handed a baby. When parents were holding their kids, it looked like the children just melted against them. Sidney could feel Nikita’s kicking legs, the way he was leaning back, like if Sidney loosened his arms, Nikita would fall right to the floor. 

Sidney imagined for a moment that this was his bedroom, his… whatever Geno would be, who was pulling a soft sleep shirt over his head. That Nikita was Sidney’s baby. It wouldn’t be exactly like this, because Sidney would have never planned to have a baby in the middle of a Stanley Cup run. Maybe in five years. Nikita sucked his thumb and leaned his head back against Sidney’s chest. Sidney dropped his head to smell Nikita’s hair. If this was really his bedroom, Sidney probably wouldn’t let Nikita in bed with them, because he was pretty sure that interfered with sleep training, but in this actual moment he wished that he could lay Nikita down on the middle of the bed, him and Geno on either side. He didn’t know if it was safe for babies to sleep like that, so Sidney would have to stay awake, watching them both sleep, making sure that everything was all right. 

In real life, Geno finished dressing. As he stood, in his bedroom, in his house he shared with his wife, he held out his arms for his baby.

Sidney handed Nikita back. He gave Geno a kiss on the forehead and Nikita a careful pat on the shoulder, and then headed back to the hotel he was staying in while his kitchen was being renovated. 

When he got there, the doorman greeted him, as did the concierge. As Sidney stood in the mirrored elevator, watching the buttons change colour as it took him up to the penthouse, he thought that he kind of liked living in hotels. The room waiting for him will have been cleaned in his absence. The paper tops on the glass tumblers will be replaced. There will be fresh towels. It didn’t matter so much that the headboard was ugly and the wall colour was way too green. Someone else had made those choices. All he needed was a place to stay until his actual home was exactly the way he wanted it.

**Author's Note:**

> From The Very Secret Beta Notes of [Threeturn](http://archiveofourown.org/users/threeturn), upon receiving a googledoc with the working title "geno's baby": _WHAT IS THAT TITLE LAURA DID U WRITE MPREG._
> 
> I'm over [here on tumblr](http://disarmd.tumblr.com).


End file.
